07 June 2010


Above: The picture you need to write a My First Dictionary-style definition for. Below: The amazing, unique prize you could win if you do!

Yes, there’s only a week left to enter the competition and, no, you’re not fantasizing – that really is a one-of-a-kind CD/book set containing all the My First Sing-Along Dictionary songs featured here over the last month PLUS an entirely new bonus song to be based on the winning caption submitted by a reader.

And, yes, they are in a picnic basket – but, no, that’s not part of the prize... Suckers!

Thanks to everyone who’s entered so far. There’s still time to get an entry in if you haven’t already – or another if you’re feeling particularly inspired. Just see the previous post for full details and bear in mind that the caption has to (a) define a word, and (b) sound like it might be from a real children’s dictionary, however twisted the subtext. (And remember: subtle suggestion is often the funnier way to go – something I should probably try to learn myself...)

Thanks also to John LaSala for not only producing the aforementioned CD but taking it on a picnic-themed photo shoot for the purposes of this post. I would’ve included the shots of him actually modelling the prize, but I decided to send them in to Tyra Banks instead, in the hope that the next cycle of America’s Next Top Model will concentrate on rugged, stubbly men whose oddly alluring grimaces exude a mixture of raw masculinity and, frankly, slight derangement. (Well, it’s the only way I have a chance of making it through to the finale, anyway.)

So get scribbling! Then maybe think about entering the competition... Good luck!


Minister of Nothing said...


A boy scout uniform is a good disguise to steal an old lady's shopping outside the baker shop.

Atareye said...


Step three, You make her open the box.


Jimmy maintained opulence using many a cleaver disguise.

Robbie said...


The confused elderly woman has mistaken her cats for dogs.

Unknown said...


Andy is helpfull.
Without his help, Grandma never could have choosen the right drugs for a painless euthanasie.

Akash Hans said...

Can we send multiple entries?

Cirrocumulus said...

Also in the picnic basket are some organically-grown fairly traded herbal poisons for the winner to experiment with.

John of VUA said...

Yes! If your mind is twisted enough, enter as many times as you please!

Squirrel said...

help, helpful

Timmy thought he would earn a merit badge for being helpful by picking up the basket Ms. Anderson dropped.

Ms. Anderson thought Timmy was no help at all. Now she would need to find a new way to get rid of the stray cats that bothered her while she shopped downtown.

winner, winning

Timmy was happy that he submitted the best entry for the contest. He loved being a winner.

Timmy didn't notice Ms. Anderson was wearing gloves when she delivered the prize. Poor Timmy will never earn another merit badge; winning is not always a good thing.

C. said...


Grandma did a good trade with this man.
She gave away her cat so she could get more drugs from him.


With the money the boy earned from selling Grandma cookies, they can finally afford to have the cat put down.


Grandma needs to go to her ophthalmologist.
She has just mistaken the boy scout for her dealer.

Unknown said...

Dealers sometimes deal disguised as boy scouts.

hipper said...

to brake, broke, breaking

Mrs Jones broke the ice with boyscout using grocery basket. She is breaking the parole again.

Unknown said...


A dialogue is a conversation between two people.
Aunt Agatha is having a dialogue with Robert.
She is telling him to search the basket for her inhalator.

dear the interwebs, said...


the old lady which analgesic would kill the cat quickest.

danny was always prepared.

O Senhor said...


Mrs Johnson is very proud of her idea.

Using boy scouts as drug mules was the best idea ever.

Some Guy said...


Timmy was incorrect when he assumed that the infection Aunt Millie whispered about meant she needed fresher baking supplies.

J. Hargis said...


Alice will smuggle the "oregano" into the bakery. These will be the best brownies EVER.

Anonymous said...

Today's word is Help

Scout William wants to help Mrs. Billings with her shopping.
He’s going to help himself to her bakery basket.

EnglandExpects said...

Help, Helping

Ben likes to help,
today he is helping Mrs. Crabtree.
Once he gets inside her house
Ben will help himself

Favour, Favourite

James would like to remain in Mrs. Latymer's favour,
he would like to be her favourite.
James like the taste.
As do the cats.

Sasha said...


To feel. The old lady is excited to feel the boy.


To make believe. The boy will make believe that he is not a father.

Sasha said...


When grandma gets home, she can be rid of grandpa.

Excite, excited

The boy is happy and excited. Now he can buy a needle.

Anonymous said...


Bruce is helpful to old ladies. He helps them carry their groceries. Bruce tries to be helpful to his friends, but they beat him up.

Unknown said...

Old Emma is old and weak, she even doesn't reckognize her grandson Albert.She pays him 5 $ to take her purchase home.When Albert will be at her home he will pay back for his childhood.

Mastodor said...

Too late for the competition, but...

Today's word is Bread.

Bread is food made from wheat.

The bread boy is offering a hotdog bun to the old lady.
He hopes that she will come again and again.

alex said...

your blog is cool.