31 May 2010

Today's word is...?

Want to see YOUR My First Dictionary-style caption here? Want it to be turned into a song? Want a copy of that song on a limited-edition My First Sing-Along Dictionary CD with a lovely accompanying booklet?!

Well, you don’t want much, do you? But the good news is that all of these thrilling fantasies – and I know you dream about them nightly – can now become unequivocal realities, thanks to the My First Dictionary/Very Us Artists Collaborative Caption Competition Extravaganza Meltdown 2010! (Note to self: think of better title.)

Yes, you could be sitting there (or standing – it’s really up to you) listening to a song based on your very own MFD caption with your very own ears. Not only that, but it would appear as a bonus track on a CD containing all the Singalong songs thus far. All you have to do is come up with an amusing definition to accompany the above picture. Make it funny, make it mean, but above all, make it fit the MFD style, which means that, while you can pick any word you want, you do have to define it within your caption. (Take a look through past posts to get the feel if you’re not familiar.)

Get your entries in by 14 June (11pm BST) and one or more of the assorted Very Us Artists geniuses will write and record a song incorporating your definition, much in the same way as the last ten words have been set to marvellous musical accompaniment here at MFD. In fact, in exactly the same way. And, if you don’t believe me, have a listen.

I really couldn’t be more excited to see what you come up with and, thanks to the expressive tone of my writing, I know you didn’t just mistake my genuine enthusiasm for sarcasm there. Which it was... Honestly! (Oh dear, that seems to be making it worse.) In any case, there’s three ways to enter:

The old-fashioned way: Submit your idea in the Comments bit below.

The new-fangled way: Visit the Facebook page and leave your caption there.

The super-techno-fantastical-excitement way: Post the caption in your “Facebook status” along with a “link” to this post and a @My First Dictionary “tag”, thereby proving to your friends, family and own fragile ego how “with it” you are.

(I know which method I’d use, and it rhymes with “the pooper-hetero-testicle-excrement-gay” – although that’s hopefully a coincidence.)

The winning caption will be chosen using a special algorithm dreamt up by me and select members of the Very Us Artists whilst on the toilet, and posted here on or around 15 June, with the new song appearing a week or so later. Until then... enter! Enter twice! Email a friend and tell them to enter! Tweet and re-tweet, and then re-tweet that re-tweet until Twitter goes over capacity! Google Wave it, and then explain to me how Google Wave works! And then maybe have a lie down.

Here’s a preview of what the fabulous CD and booklet prize will look like:

And here’s how you would feel if you won it:

And if that’s not motivation, I don’t know what is.

30 May 2010


The fat lady’s getting ready to sing a song about the Sing-Along Dictionary but, before she does, the Very Us Artists have one last little message for you all:

Many thanks again to all the VUArtists for spicing up My First Dictionary these past weeks, and especially to the twisted ringleader of the project, John LaSala. It’s back to the boring old, non-singing, non-dancing dictionary tomorrow, albeit with one fairly major difference: YOU get to pick the next word.

Yes, it’s caption competition time again! Remember last year? This time, however, there’s an actual prize at stake. And, no, I’m not telling you what it is. In fact, there aren’t even words to describe how exciting it is – and, being a dictionary blogger, I should know.

That’s right... I called myself a “dictionary blogger”. Deal with it, and see you tomorrow.

UPDATE: Just to clarify, the proper competition starts tomorrow with an all-new new picture. The image above is for illustration purposes only – although, seeing as we’ve already had two funny captions for it, feel free to practise!

21 May 2010

Today's song is put

“Everyone Loves Grandma (Put The Knife Down)”
by Colin Garvey.

Alas, today’s disturbing ditty marks the final collaboration between My First Dictionary and the ├╝ber-talented Very Us Artists. You’ll be glad to hear we’re going out with a bang, however – even if it is the sound of a bloodstained basement door slamming shut! Visit Colin’s VUA song page for lyrics etc, and come back soon for a thrilling announcement...

18 May 2010

Today's song is fade

“Happy Families Fade” by Uglifruit.

Andy weaves a world of art-house melancholy from today’s simple line drawing, with a devastating little number that couldn’t be more aptly titled. Weep along with full lyrics (and interesting commentary) from the VUA song page:

13 May 2010

Today's song is creative

“The Vicissitudes Of A Creative Life” by John LaSala
& Ali Kilpatrick.

This macabre tale may be My First Dictionary’s first epic: a Machiavellian tale of music and murder that’s half ballroom, half Broadway, and all bloodcurdlingly clever. Visit the VUA song page for a closer look at the many lyrical twists and allusions...

11 May 2010

Today's song is paranoid

“Cave Canem” by Jeremy Simmons.

Jeremy’s ode to “dark, dog memories” – with added snuffling – gives today’s dip into My First Dictionary an enjoyably eerie edge... Check out the Very Us Artists song page for lyrics and more.

07 May 2010

Today's song is sacrifice

“Sacrifice: Hymn For Harvest Rain” by Bilian.

Bilian’s tongue-in-cheek warning on his VUA song page that “this record is not suitable for children” may just be the understatement of the year. When I first heard his twisted “hymn,” I wasn’t sure whether I was shaking with laughter or fear! Either way, I guarantee you’ve never heard anything like it before...

03 May 2010

Today's song is crisis

“The Midlife Crisis Song” by Joshua Wentz.

This melancholy tale takes us to visit Chico in the TV-lit gloom of his motel room one night... See the Very Us Artists song page for lyrics.