You can’t argue with democracy: Burden won last Sunday’s lexical face-off with a cumbersome 76% of votes to pocket’s 12%, meaning it’s the former that’s officially added to the dictionary today. What lessons can we take from this? Well, you apparently prefer vicious humour over vulgar, cruelty to crassness, and swearing definitely isn’t the way to go. How highbrow... I’m impressed!
There’s no pleasing 5% of people, who didn’t care for either of the suggested definitions. Meanwhile, another 5% put down their box-cutters long enough to point out that they were too busy cutting themselves to care. Now that’s dedication. Keep up the good work, self-harmers... Someone’s just bound to notice you soon! Thanks to everyone who voted. Regular dictionary service resumes tomorrow.
Today’s word must be “indecision” (although I’m not sure). In any case, I’ve ended up with two different definitions to accompany the same illustration – and I’d like you to vote, if you will, for the one you think should go into the dictionary. Use the poll to the right, which closes on Friday, when the losing word will disappear into a wormhole, never to be seen again.*
*Until next month, when I run out of ideas and probably have to reuse it.
Thanks to Shayne Zucker for the definition above, duly added to the dictionary with a faint whiff of “Damn, I wish I’d thought of that” (and I hope you don’t mind me adding the second line, Shayne, to make it into a full definition). I just loved its simple nastiness. Not that picking a winner was an easy task – there were many, many funny suggestions and I recommend checking them all out via the original post’s comments if you haven’t already.
A couple of other entries that particularly tickled me came from bkgk – “Ms. Rita’s meat innuendos make Robby uncomfortable. They make him ill at ease. He wishes Dad’s new girlfriend would shop with another grocer” (gotta love the bleak family background of that one) and jer – “Norma wore her favourite green coat on her twentieth trip to the store that day to buy a steak. The Alzheimer’s was getting worse”.
I especially liked the ones that played with the definitions concept, like josephalford’s “Daddy supplied the meat. The meat is made from Daddy” and callisto’s “Meat is anonymous. It cannot be identified. Once it is cut into steaks, you can’t tell who it used to be”. Sara gets a gold star for suggesting the ultimate fate of poor Carol Ann, while little gator managed to imply that the butcher’s bounty had something to do with my own disappearance.
Of course, you can’t go wrong at MFD by being as tasteless as possible, so special mention also goes to Oswald Bastable’s “The meat is nutritious. Alice has extremely heavy periods and needs nutritious meat for her blood loss”, along with Barley’s “For Susan, the steak is complimentary. She does not have to pay for it. Mike thinks it is the least he can do after demanding the abortion”.
Finally, a dose of gratuitous pessimism always cheers me up, so thanks to everyone who imagined a world of pain behind that little picture, including Philip robbins: “Meat is good for soothing bruises. Jenny is buying meat to put on her black eye because she didn’t listen to her husband the first time”; Kimber: “Mrs. Thompson is hungry. She and her children will be hungrier still tonight, because she has no money to buy the food”; and DJ: “As Alice runs her daily errands, she can't help wondering what would have happened if she had stayed at the lesbian commune in Camden instead of marrying Philip”.
And thanks to everyone who took the trouble to think of a caption. Except the crap ones. You know who you are. Hopefully.